Then it began

and for it to begin I decided to spam my own blog with nonsense. I’m not drunk, just depressed and bored. Bored of waking up, bored with eating Weetabix and bored of writing about spandex. I mean only in my dreams of course, my blog tells tales about fine spandex with a cloud of the week feature. It gets a million views and people comment with such gems as ‘I preferred the meat shaped cloud, how can you prefer the tree shaped cloud? Are you an idiot?’ I am an idiot.

I wonder what I will think in the morning when I see this stuff, without drinking your mind can still falter by evening. I realise I wake up like a zombie, come mid day I wish I was a zombie, gain a boost of enlightenment by mid afternoon and by evening I’m on the edge. A rinse and repeat cycle, maybe that will get sorted out after the meetings.

So here starts the start of the old. Perhaps, already as I write this I feel that sinking feeling of doubt and regret. Why don’t I just delete this place and be done with it? A weakness to hold on to it, but I am just a bunch of pitiful weaknesses, nothing more. The love of this place is gone but it can be regained. If things must remain gone, there is little hope in this world. One thing I learnt today at 1.

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