Joe Ray Travels The World! Spain – Costa Del Sol

My trip to Spain was a while back now, to the point that thinking back is like creating a vibrant daydream rather than a past reality. Those single week throw-downs in the sun always feel like that later on. Ah, Costa Del Sol? Just a dream. Those pictures were printed from a dream analyst and they most certainly aren’t real.

The hotel was Riu, a place largely consisting of the old and the dangerous. There was one guy who took a tree out with a dart. It was such a wide gap from the actual dart board it was clear this was intentional. Tree haters are so scary!

Despite the dart incident, the hotel was very relaxed and calm. Almost too relaxing, the intense heat throughout the week kept everyone subdued. Even I just felt like conforming to the routine of sun worshipping. The sun god gets his way if he burns up enough. What a jerk!

One thing I noticed was how robotic everyone was in their choices. Each morning the same people would pick the same sunbeds and remain there till the same time that they go to the same place to get their same meal before they get ready to go to the same bars they discovered on the one-off adventurous first day. It’s like people are too scared to break away from a set of rules, even when they’ve come abroad to escape the mundane day-to-day life. They just make a temporary one here. It didn’t bother me too much. I just made note when I kept finding myself next to the woman reading filthy novels, you know the ones, each day. Wait, I’m being robotic too!

Escape outside and I discovered there were lots of lovely reminders of back home. It’s warming to see that no matter how far you travel, Sun haters are just round the corner. I do like to glimpse at page 3 now and then though… hey!

Also reminiscent of Britain is the great infestation of birds. The little ones hopping around the bars aren’t quite as mutated as our pigeons though. I wanted to pick one up and put it on my shoulder. I’ve had that desire with pigeons before though… maybe it’s just my inner pirate yarring. No parrots here. How untropical!

Evenings saw the stalls unfold on the streets. Lots of tacky trinkets luring in the tourists. The same pirate copies of Ted, ‘authentic’ Beat headphones and jewellery that breaks after twenty-three minutes and thirty-two seconds after returning home. With all my experience I wasn’t going to fall for it this holiday.

… They didn’t break though when I got back.

I also discovered an  amazing new drink while I was relaxing in the fancy overpriced bars. The ‘dry sack; brought out my immature side, and so I questioned the waiter if he had one. He looked the other way then winked. Christ. Good drink though. Sherry, mmm.

Looking up to the piercing sun each day I hoped that the return trip home would stay put a while longer. This is the trip which bridged educations end and work hunts beginning and in a way it was like being in a beautiful purgatory. I didn’t know where I was going but I didn’t mind staying here. I didn’t meet any cute girl with a quirky personality to sort my confused head out, which is a shame. I’m going to the wrong hotels, clearly. (The pictures went hipster styled just then because they were taken on my 3DS, which takes arse pictures unless you tinker. Sorry.)

So in my confused state, I didn’t really take many interesting pictures of the actual location. The time when pirates took control of the beach and I rushed forward to take down the captain with a spicy fajita and the moment when I swam down into the pool to fight an angry lobster are absent. I was just too busy to take pictures at the time! Days swung as fast as the bedroom fan, so I thought I’d throw in some symbolism nonsense to keep things going here. I’m spinning in life, but I’m not stopping! Give me an answer Spain! Spain said nothing.

It was more pleasant comfort eating than a grand adventure this year. The part of Spain is as nice as any other part of tourist Spain, in fact they all seem to hold the same identikit buffets, buildings and Irish pubs to keep everything not feeling too unusual. No abandoned hotels or hidden passages here. I didn’t stumble upon them anyhow. The sun god was being too attention seeking.

And to finish, a lovely piece of stereotyping. They inject themselves with Irn Bru over there…

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