2012 for me could be called ‘The Year Of Sucking Lollipops’, or ‘The Year Of Being In One Place Then Ending In Another Place’. Whatever the year was for me, it was one of bits. Bits ending, bits lost, bits adapting. So bitty. A three-part saga.
Part One saw the end of uni days. No more nights living alone eating bad junk food while drinking rum and writing to rock music. I miss those days which now seem like paradise. Did uni really happen? Did I really make a social video for Typhoo Tea? As soon as I entered Part Two, living away in the city washed away and I have little desire to return. Not for a one-off day anyway. I’d love to be idling the days away in my own little world once more. But money prevents.
Part Two is the void. Questions, worries, concerns and warts. It’s the stuff that needs a montage to get it out the way before Part Three brings the real change. Writing stalled and so did my desires. And so Part Three came about as I sorted myself out. A tick list of life priorities. Job and relations, with plans to learn to drive and find some stability. A path I swore I wouldn’t take at uni, instead vowing to write and find success. But that was paradise, this is reality.
It wasn’t a bad year. Every part had its ups and every part had its downs. If I was trapped in the void of confusion maybe it would be a different story, so banzai for work. Banzai for plans and banzai for routine. That 10% of joy keeps things ticking. And next year I won’t suck so many lollipops. Promise.