Christmas Is Here!

Have a good day and watch out for conveyor belts! No, that was the wrong ending! Have a good day and watch out for bearded men on conveyor belts! A little better. One more time.

Merry Christmas and don’t worry about the bad things! Like conveyor belts and bearded men you’ve never met. If you see one, tell him to shave it off and he will crawl away. They usually do.

Merry Christmas 2010

And Merry Christmas you all! Last year there was a tree of day and now I thought for 2010 there should be a tree of night. But my camera likes to make pictures blurry when flash is switched off so we have a blurry tree of night.

And I hope everyone has a nice day and gets some nice things. I’m looking forward to the dinner most, ah what an amazing dinner. I shouldn’t be hungover this year too thanks to controlling myself. Fresh Christmas morning ready for one of my favourite days of the year. Apart from that time I had a nasty stomach inflation, that was rough Christmas. Hurt.

And as I write this and sign out for the night I see Santa is in Wales. He probably won’t be in Wales or there at all by the time you check but well he’s a busy guy! Bloomin journey.

Jingle All The Way

Film: Jingle All The Way
Release Date: 22nd November 1996
Director: Brian Levant
Rating: PG
20th Century Fox

Tracy Island, Furby to the Nintendo wii; every Christmas has a sell out that everyone goes mad for. Not sure what this years is… Kinect? Call Of Duty? Buzz Lightyear again? I don’t know but every year there has to be some gift that sells out and causes parents to fall into despair as they try to get one. And Jingle All The Way is a film about these woes, but of course you know that. Who hasn’t seen this amazing Christmas classic? It’s turbo time! Continue reading

Christmas Shopping

I stand in the cold so I slip. People are trundling along, only a few with smiles on their faces. The rest walk grim holding shopping bags, ploughing through the crowds for more bags to pick up. It’s icy and every now and then someone stumbles and hits the cold hard surface, a thump and a trickle of blood. I decide it is time to move, only because the frost is getting to me.  Continue reading

Christmas Tale

‘What’s the best seller all the kids want this Christmas?’ Rupert asked flipping through his wallet for his card. The shop clerk sighed waving his hand so Rupert would put his wallet away.

‘It doesn’t matter how much cash you have, the best seller is out, all sold out. And it’s Christmas Eve. Maybe you should have shopped earlier.’

‘I would if I could, didn’t have time. I never have the time and when I do have the time I never had the time, capiche?’

Rupert stormed out of the store before abruptly stopping and looking up into the snow ridden sky. In life when things like this happen, you wait for the punchline. Sometimes the punchline doesn’t come and you just look worried. Rupert just looked worried. Being a mafia boss had all its rewards but he never really thought about his personal life, his personal life was his mafia life. He watched his breath blow in front before setting off to the food court. Continue reading

Homebound Christmas

Ah back in good old Oswaldtwistle, the place I’ve always known. The place with the world’s largest pear drop you may never see. Good to be back and everything has gone Christmas mode since last time. I always know it’s Christmas nearing when I see the lights on the small tree in the garden. I could forget though and think they’ve just been left on as it is easier that way.

Continue reading